Jess Says Yeh!
As little girls, we always dreamt of this day. The day we said ‘Yes’ to the perfect guy! However, we soon grow up to learn that life is not a fairytale and each story is perfectly imperfect in their own way. I’d like to be real and share a little bit about our journey to engagement, specifically our ring shopping experience. And of course, the intimate proposal I never knew I wanted.
Ladies, let’s talk rings.
We grow up with the expectation that men will read our minds and magically have our perfect ring in hand to propose..which I recently realized was not the case. Of course, there are those girls that would love “anything” their man gives them. I am not talking to those girls. I am talking to the girls that have known exactly what you wanted since you were 5, have an entire category on Pinterest or if you’re like me and simply want to pick out your very own ring. If you can relate, then read on!
Per all my recently engaged girlfriend’s advice, Z and I decided to ring shop together. The journey was complicated to say the least. There were so many factors to one single diamond, we often found ourselves overwhelmed. I feel for the men that have to do this on their own! Here were some things we learned as a couple:
Listen to each other. We had so many conversations over our expectations and what we valued. Those that know Z, knows that he’s a humble guy and expensive things just don’t appeal to the man. If you know me, then you know my boujee ass needed a little something something. Although Z obviously accommodated to me, I really appreciated the time he took to understand my perspective. I also enjoyed learning about his perspective and it made me check myself a bit more before splurging. Men, listen to your lady and it is important to understand what she wants, even if you’re surprising her! Ladies, it’s important to express verbally and maybe several times what you want. They need obvious hints if you still want it as a surprise!
Set a budget. This was important since we valued different things. Setting a budget was the perfect compromise, so I could explore rings freely as long as it fell within that budget. Ladies, be realistic and don’t make your men go broke over this. I had communicated several times and made sure Z was okay with the expense.
Set your values. After all the visits to various stores, we quickly learned that this was complicated AF. There are way more factors than just the 4 C’s and there was just no way for us to value all of them. We both did some research and even had our rep show us diamonds side by side to compare differences. We went as far to research and explore diamonds in Europe. And at the end of the day, we had to pick what was valuable to us. This is subjective to every couple, but I recommend really doing some research before blindly buying something. For me, I had a specific carat in mind and valued cut above all else, making sure we only looked at super ideal cuts. Then moving down, I went with the highest color and compromised on clarity. Something we also learned was that fluorescence made the diamond cheaper and that didn’t necessarily mean it was bad, but again it’s all about preference. Some people seem to like the bit of blue and some people want their diamonds really white. On top of it all, it was important to me that I had a 3x excellent diamond (cut, symmetry, and polish) and if it wasn’t GIA certified, we didn’t even bother looking at it.
Make sure she sizes her ring finger appropriately. This was something we had done pretty early on because let’s be honest, who the heck knows their ring size off the top of their head? Also, please note that your forever 21 ring size does not apply! 😂
We ended up choosing to go with Brilliant Earth because of their conflict free and ethical sourcing policy. They also had the perfect leaf setting for us, which resembles Z’s last name in Chinese. They were also our favorite experience after shopping around. Some shops, especially in Antwerp were super pushy and sometimes made you feel uncomfortable. We loved how our rep took the time to compare stones with us and never once made us feel obligated to buy. Of course, we also compared the prices with Blue Nile and James Allen. Both are known to have very competitive pricing. We liked that Brilliant Earth fell within a similar price range and you can look at it in person before committing. We also looked at RareCarat to make sure we’re getting a good deal on our specific diamond. Another cool tidbit about Brilliant Earth that is your ring comes with a lifetime warranty and at any point in your life, you can upgrade to a better diamond and deduct how much you paid for the initial diamond from the bigger one. This is for natural diamonds only, but such a nice benefit to have!
Rough, right? There’s an overwhelming amount of details, but that’s what makes it so amazing in my opinion. That we put in the time to explore and ended up with this one. Thankful for Z and his patience throughout this whole process. I feel lucky to have someone that values my wants and opinions. Thank you for carefully picking out my perfect ring with me and getting it for me!
The Proposal
When Z and I first started dating, he decided to quit his job and go on a two month road trip. It was still very early in our relationship, so I made an effort to fly out to see him when I could. The very first spot I flew to was New York to visit him. I still remember feeling like a princess when I landed. He had called an uber to pick me up, take me to this nice hotel, and had lobster rolls waiting for me. On top of that, he had somehow showered our room in rose petals and I got to enjoy some champagne in the hot tub. That was the night he sat me down and told me he loved me for the first time.
Proposal ring + The ring!
Fast-forward to our first Europe trip together this past July. It never occurred to me that he’d propose because we hadn’t picked out the ring yet. I wanted to see the diamonds in Europe and explore all my options before committing. So to my surprise, he actually bought a smaller ring to propose with and somehow tricked me into the same hotel room when we had the layover in NY back from Europe. I was completely surprised and thrown off when he proposed because I was confused how he had a ring! I was also extremely tired from the trip and had the worst energy that night. Looking back, it was still magical for me. I’m thankful for all the thought and effort Z has made for me throughout our courtship and couldn’t be happier to start a life together! Also, now your girl has a travel ring! :)
This past weekend, Z proposed to me again with the real ring! Haha, we’re so silly. Hope this post can be somewhat helpful to anyone going through the stressful journey of ring shopping! It’s definitely worth the trouble and an unique learning experience. :)
